This Floating Poo Was Way Too Meaningful! These Are the TV Disappointments of the Past Year.

Looking back, we reflect on the television landscape of the past year, a selection of shows stand out not for their excellence, but for their notable shortcomings. From awkward sequels to confusingly poor documentaries, here are the programmes that left us scratching our heads or just reaching for the remote.

The 'Sex and the City' Sequel

Where to begin with this divisive follow-up? Plagued with dreadful scripts, painful arcs (we demand better for Miranda!), and a mere 71 seconds of fan-favourite Samantha, the series struggled to find its footing. For a moment, as the final season started, it looked like it had finally found its groove. Then arrived an episode centered on Seema’s natural deodorant. Little surprise the showrunner announced this would be the last series. It concluded on a bum note; the lingering shot of Miranda’s toilet flooded with poo was simply too on-the-nose. Yet, viewers undeniably found joy picking apart every single “what on earth?” moment. And as Carrie – once again single – danced around her palatial townhouse to Barry White, who couldn't release a little sob?

All’s Fair

‘Is Kim Kardashian an actress? The answer is a resounding no.’

But that was practically the least of this drama's issues. The recipient of a exceedingly uncommon no-star review, it was difficult to know where to begin listing the problems. The laughably wooden writing? The mind-numbing veneration of affluence and materialism? The seemingly deliberate procession of tropes? Performances so poor they felt almost malicious? Suffice it to say “each and every one” and forget about this show again. However, a second season has been commissioned, so we’re probably going to have to.

AKA Charlie Sheen

Given the legal troubles, abuse allegations and fatherly failures, it’s reasonable to say Charlie Sheen has been a bad boy. Not that you’d truly have known it from this three-part documentary which chuckled along at Sheen’s various bouts of self-destructive excess while failing to tell us a single thing we weren't already aware of. Rather, it felt as if this loose cannon was being pandered to, so any sympathy this series might induce should be saved for the people who have had to endure close contact with this charismatic but dismissive egotist.

The Supercomputer Drama

Of course we understood it was preposterous from the get-go: a drama about a supercomputer known as Charlie Big Potatoes that could either save the world – or annihilate all of humanity. We stuck with it out of sheer admiration for its stars … but by the end, it felt like even they had given up trying. One barely reacted when his character died, and the other ended up hacking Charlie with an axe … in painfully slow-motion. That's what you call giving up the ghost.

The Gangster Drama

Shady characters convening in empty boxing gyms? The Prodigy’s Firestarter blaring in club scenes? The late 90s called and wants its gangland drama back.

In truth, that is harsh on the crime shows of the late 90s. Many look a little dated now, but at least they didn’t endure the embarrassment of having to indulge baffling dialects. But there were many other issues. Primarily that it was just really boring; a conflict over drug-selling territory between various London rogues which seemed a bit basic.

With Love, Meghan

Considering the degree to which she grinds the gears of certain ostentatiously angry commentators, it’s temptingly tempting to admire the Duchess of Sussex’s televised ventures into quaint lifestyle as intentional provocations. But then you watch them and are compelled to concede that actually, they may have a point. It’s like watching a homeware catalogue animated; a meme for evening drinks with ideas of grandeur; a procession of sleeping dogs, humming beehives, sentimental platitudes and pointless crafting “hacks” you’ll forget instantly. All underpinned by vast, mostly unearned wealth. Ugh.

The Beckham Documentary

There are obviously interesting things to be said about both Victoria Beckham and her journey with career, self-image, self-acceptance. But for some reason, this three-part series chose not to explore them. Rather, the experience was akin to consuming a sales brochure. She obviously has good reason to resent what she describes as her “miserable cow” image. But unfortunately, she didn’t do herself any helps with this guarded letdown of a series.

The Game Show

It had the potential to be the next big hit – except even camper, with a glamorous star playing dead and a sharp-tongued personality overseeing her inheritance. What more could you ask for? As contestants battled it out, there was plenty of backstabbing and arguing. But the rules quickly became bewildering: it’s even now too confusing to detail what exactly was happening. Even more regrettably, we only saw brief appearances of the star via filmed videos. The show ended up reeking of a production that was trying way too hard to live up to something far greater than it.

The Lena Dunham Romcom

How does one succeed a show that captured a generation? The pressure was enormous for this starry romcom about Jessica, a hopeful New Yorker who lands in London with a shattered romance. The star took her biggest role by the horns and was a delight to watch, embodying Jane Austen levels of romantic ideals. But it was all very slick and, paradoxically, was not enough. Plus, the abundance of famous friends involved felt uncomfortable.

Mitchell & Webb Are Not Helping

Not good enough to be ‘uneven’.

Given the smart inclusion of gifted younger comics, hopes were high. But sadly, most of it didn’t land. A recurring sketch was a one-note joke stretched to a husk but recurring in every episode. One star seemed too ready to slip into a well-known ranting mode. The behind-the-scenes sketches, in contrast, simply provoked the thought that they should probably have stayed in there a while longer.

The Knox Dramatisation

This retelling of the story of Amanda Knox was executive produced by Amanda Knox and pretty much exclusively presented the viewpoint of Amanda Knox. So, while there probably is an compelling drama to be made about the horrific 2007 murder, this was not it. The material needed to be handled with care. Instead, the series laboured awkwardly to find the right tone, lurching from strangely breezy, somewhat mannered farce to ultimately, real-life horror. Twisted? Arguably. A total mess? Absolutely.

Prime Target

We admire the star … but did we buy him playing the most brilliant maths genius since, a man so intelligent he’s on the brink of a breakthrough that could ruin society? Nope! This globe-trotting thriller about government agencies targeting – and eliminating – intellectuals honestly got more farcical by the second. Silliness-by-numbers.

The Bonnie Blue Documentary

This hagiography followed the content creator notorious for sexual exploits as she prepared for her most extreme challenge yet. What on earth would motivate her? What we wanted was far greater examination of her true psyche, plus those of the men in the queue. They could at least have interviewed the legendary mum who showed up to drag her son away from the queue. What we got was horrific shots and zero interrogation of her notoriety whatsoever. And to think, the filmmaker has a young daughter too.